In November of a year ago, I documented for separation from my companion of 16 years…for the second time. Also in the wake of what it less than a neighborly detachment and separation, I acknowledged how simple it is for single parents (like me) to happen in the domain of money, of restoring themselves in the workforce, and of acquiring health awareness in the wake of one less wages. In an exertion to help others not rehash my same tangles, I put together a straightforward orderly guide to getting and staying fiscally fit from the very first moment to last order.
The expense of getting separated
In my case, I wasn't financially prepared to file when I did. I had to sell my wedding ring set in order to come up with the $2,500 retainer that my lawyer wanted. However, as it stands today, my bill is upwards of $5,000 and continues to climb. When considering a divorce, know that you could be looking at $15,000 for a standard, non-amicable divorce, even when there aren't many assets to split. Even if you aren't financially prepared for this, you need to be mentally prepared to take on that extra monthly debt, in addition to any other debts you may have, and then make your budget to match.
Becoming a single mom
I had been living like a single mom for as long as I can remember. I got little to no help from my spouse when it came to shopping for the children, grocery shopping, meal preparation, laundry assistance, house cleaning, taking the kids to doctors' appointments or participating in the girls' extracurricular activities. And while the separation might not have been a big blow for me personally, knowing that I needed to take on two extra jobs to compensate for the lost income, took a lot of time away from my normal motherly duties.
With that said, I approached my dilemma with a plan. I would take on a traditional job and then work the residual income racket in the background.
First, I got a traditional job, with benefits and bonuses, working as a sales manager. I maintain my freelance writing on a part time basis, while also working part time for a travel company. I chose these two extra side jobs because I have the potential for residual income, meaning that I won't have to work three jobs for long, or forever. In fact, my plan is to grow my residual based income to a point that will allow me to retire in five years, or less. And it's quite doable, under the business plan I have in place for myself. And residual income is something I suggest every single mother look into as well.
Surviving divorce
No matter how badly we may want a divorce, the divorce itself does deal a blow to our psyche, our self-esteem and our pocket books. Part of my plan to survive my divorce is simple, and consists of a simple phrase I heard once from a dear friend of mine: "The best revenge is living well." And indeed, it will be. Because while my soon to be ex-husband will continue to trade hours for dollars for the rest of his life, my plan is to build a future around the philosophy of working smarter, not harder.
How did you deal with your divorce?
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